Bullying or banter? Bullying in the workplace

Bullying in the workplace. Or banter? Where’s the line?

We all need to have good banter at work. It creates a good atmosphere and makes the day far more enjoyable. But, if you take your eye off the ball, it can go way too far, very, very quickly – and accusations of bullying in the workplace can follow.

Having a strong connection with your teammates is important in any occupation. After all, we spend 40-plus hours a week at work, so it needs to feel good.

Of course, it’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows – there are going to be disagreements, there are going to be differences of opinion, and that’s normal. But being around other people all day, with good-natured ‘banter’ flying around, is a huge positive.

From a mental health perspective, too, it’s massive. Having people to talk to is huge. Having strong relationships with people, people we can confide in, is incredibly important.

But – and here comes the but – ‘banter’ can very easily tip over into bullying in the workplace. That joke might bond a few people, but if it’s at the expense of another, it can cause problems.

It’s a fine line to tread, and one that needs to be carefully considered. Because while we don’t want to create workplaces where people are scared to say one thing or another, we don’t want to encourage a culture that borders on bullying and harassment, either.

Recognising when banter becomes bullying in the workplace

Bullying disguised as banter is a toxic norm that’s rarely addressed, but can be incredibly harmful,” says Tammie Horton, Mental Health and Resilience Educator and Coach, creator of the Phynix Initiative.

“For example, lines like, ‘Didn’t know we hired the slow kid today’, ‘Need a break already, princess?’ and ‘He’s gone quiet – must be off his meds again’ are all micro-assaults that erode confidence and connection, which are two key pillars of mental wellbeing.

“Many tradies would rather leave a job than report it for fear of being labelled soft or blacklisted. When bullying is brushed off as ‘banter’, we normalise abuse – and that silence becomes a slow, invisible injury.”

Deepak Singh, Founder of HR business Mission and Rhythm agrees, saying, “Banter is part of the job, but it’s only fun when everyone’s in on it. A good culture is one where jokes land, not where they linger.

“Ask yourself this: would they laugh the same way if you weren’t in the room? Would they feel safe calling it out? If the answer’s no, you’ve got a problem.”

Official guidance on banter and bullying

While the ‘banter’ doesn’t often make it into official guidance, bullying – and what can constitute bullying – does.

Safe Work Australialists ‘abusive or offensive language or comments’, ‘belittling or humiliating comments’, ‘practical jokes or initiation’ and ‘aggressive and intimidating behaviour’ as examples of behaviours that could constitute bullying if they are repeated, unreasonable, and create a risk to health and safety.

The Fair Work Commission similarly includes ‘teasing or playing practical jokes’ and ‘pressuring someone to behave inappropriately’ as examples of bullying.

Ultimately, as business owners, we have legal responsibility for our people working in a safe environment – and that includes mental safety as much as the physical. Morally, we have obligations, too.

“Legally, every business has a responsibility under workplace health and safety laws to manage psychological risks,” says Singh. “That includes systems, workload, culture and behaviours. Morally? You’re responsible for your people going home in one piece, mentally and physically.”

In the workplace, there’s a whole host of things you can do, but the general consensus is to lead by example – model what is good banter, and ensure you pull up anything that isn’t. Encourage people to speak up if things aren’t right, and be empathetic about how others may interpret words – regardless of intention.

The biggest thing to remember here is the standards you walk past are the standards you accept.

If you don’t pull people up, who will?